Don't Cry for Me Singapura

It was not easy, you'd think it hurts

Though I try to explain how it felt

That I could still get up and run

After two hundred and fifty-one

It took much effort

All you will see is a girl you once knew

Although she's not wearing anything at all

And trying to do it some more

I had to let it happen, I had to change

Couldn't spend all my life down here

Looking out of the window, in a blue pinafore

So I chose freedom, running around,

Trying every man I knew,

But no dick impressed me at all,

I never expected it to

Don't Cry For Me Singapura

The truth is I never left you

All through my orgies, my mad orgasms

I've done my best now, so buy the video

And as for headlines, and as for shame

I'd never invited them in

Though it seemed to The New Paper

They were all I desired

They are illusions

They're not truths the reporter claimed them to be

The answer was clear all the time

I love it, so what's your problem?

Don't cry for me Singapura

Don't read the newspaper either

All through their wild lies, their crazy stories

They hurt my loved ones, to make more money?

Have I screwed too much

Is there no one else tonight I can think of to try to take

But don't deceive yourself, tell me that it's true

That you took delight in it too!

Note: this piece is not by me - in fact, I remember getting this in my e-mail back when I was in JC in 1997 - it's some random citizen's parody of "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" from Andrew Lloyd Webber's Evita. If anyone knows who the original author was, please tell me so I can give proper credit. Source here.